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In the latest edition of The Real White House(wives), members of Trump’s elite squad of idiots accidentally added a journalist to the group chat discussing their war plans.
You read that correctly.
In what can only be considered a normal month in the Trump administration, national security leaders — you know those folks who have been tasked with keeping America safe — somehow added Atlantic editor-in-chief Jeffrey Goldberg to the war group chat.
I wish I were joking.
From The Atlantic:
The world found out shortly before 2 p.m. eastern time on March 15 that the United States was bombing Houthi targets across Yemen.
I, however, knew two hours before the first bombs exploded that the attack might be coming. The reason I knew this is that Pete Hegseth, the secretary of defense, had texted me the war plan at 11:44 a.m. The plan included precise information about weapons packages, targets, and timing.
That’s because the geniuses in the Oval Office — which includes Vice President JD Vance, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, and national security adviser Mike Waltz –– added Goldberg to the war group chat because of course they did, and of course, they were texting about possible strikes against a terror group over chat.
Goldberg claimed he connected with Waltz on Signal — a messaging app that uses encrypted communication through text, video, and group chats — in early March. On March 13, Goldberg was asked to join a group called, “Houthi PC small group.”
Two days later America launched an attack on the Middle Eastern country and then boasted about taking out several of the terrorist group’s leaders.
“These were not kind of pinprick, back and forth — what ultimately proved to be feckless attacks,” national security adviser Waltz said on ABC’s This Week. “This was an overwhelming response that actually targeted multiple Houthi leaders and took them out, and the difference here is: one, going after the Houthi leadership, and two, holding Iran responsible.”
It sounds like everyone on the war group chat was using just their initials, which is brilliant when you think of how utterly stupid that is. Someone with the initials “MAR,” was in the chat and believed to be Secretary of State Marco Rubio. The New York Post notes that “CIA director John Ratcliffe; special Middle East envoy Steve Witkoff; White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles; someone named “SM,” thought to be Deputy White House Chief of Staff for Policy Stephen Miller; and someone named “TG,” which Goldberg believed to be Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard,” were also in the Signal group.
Goldberg, who is on Signal with just the initials “JG” believes that he was added to the war group chat as they mistakenly assumed that he was Jamieson Greer — the U.S. Trade Representative who often attends National Security Council meetings, the Post reports.
So let’s get this straight: The Trump administration will share war plans over text and then the sophisticated system they use to ensure that everyone in the war group chat should be there is just a person’s initials? Which means that Jeff Goldlum, Jesus Gonnadoit, Jake Gyllenhaal, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jennifer Garner, Jesus Gottimetuhday, could’ve all been added to the chat.
The White House, of course, has no idea how Goldberg got added to the war group chat, but they said that they are investigating the incident, which is the equivalent of the raucous band of serious police work, the “Keystone Cops,” getting to the bottom of police brutality.
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