There Were Zero Things Better This Week Than Robyn, Honey

Welcome to Good Stuff, HuffPost’s weekly recommendation series devoted to the least bad things on and off the internet.

That’s it. ― Zeba Blay

The NBA is back, which means the Washington Wizards are back too. This is mostly a bad thing, because the Washington Wizards are a bad, dysfunctional franchise with little hope of ever getting better than they were a couple years ago, when John Wall and the aging corpse of Paul Pierce dragged a dozen other guys to the second round of the playoffs. But if you must watch the Wizards ― and I must, thanks to bad luck, geography, a limited cable package and an odd willingness to allow myself to be tortured by sports teams I supposedly like and support ― it helps that every now and then they play teams like the Golden State Warriors and players like Stephen Curry, who unlike the Wizards are good. Very good. Steph Curry, I’m not sure if you’ve heard, is very good at the basketball, and this week he hammered the Wizards with a barrage of three-pointers and 51 points.

It was awesome to watch, because when Steph Curry goes into god mode like this no one can stop him. Especially not the Wizards, who will only ever appear in a newsletter that is meant to highlight good things when other players do ridiculously good things against them. ― Travis Waldron

No one told you life was gonna be this way, with Ross Geller from friends devolving from paleontologist into a beer-stealing fugitive. Sure, the real criminal was supposedly just a lookalike, whom police say they’ve identified. David Schwimmer himself made fun of the likeness, posting a video in which he’s pretending to be the perp. But isn’t that exactly the move a mastermind criminal would do to make themselves look innocent? Especially if his job’s a joke, he’s broke and his love life’s DOA? I’m just saying making fun of the crime like this is the perfect way to pivot.

I have never seen a bitch play the flute and then hit the shoot but, my God today, Lizzo sure the fuck did that.

Blackness is vast and multifaceted — and Lizzo represents the best of it all. Let me break down the levels of this black shit:

1. This queen, this flawless being, did a cover of Kendrick Lamar and Travis Scott’s “Big Shot,” which was on the “Black Panther” soundtrack. And we know “Black Panther” was the blackest movie of the year.

2. The song has a flute component that Lizzo played live. I am counting this as a very black thing because black people play instruments other than the trumpet and drums. (I played clarinet, myself.)

3. Then she took a break to hit the shoot, one of the hardest — literally and figuratively — moves out right now. (Maybe the shoot is just hard for me to hit because I lack coordination? Idk.)

4. The shoot morphed into an entire dance routine.

5. The way “Bitch!” reverberates up from her diaphragm is a gift that only black women have. How do I know that? you ask. Well, let me tell you a non-secret: I am black.

So, Queen Lizzo played a whole wind instrument while hitting a dance that can leave you winded yet she wasn’t winded and the only wind was the greatest of the act knocking all of our wigs off.

I’m shook. ― Julia Craven

When you hear the words “vampire romance,” you might think “Twilight,” but a Halloween film series at New York’s Quad Cinema makes the case that vampires have always been queer as hell. “A Woman’s Bite: Cinema’s Sapphic Vampires” features a delicious assortment of films starring princesses of darkness hungry for that sweet, sweet plasma. From the 1936 classic “Dracula’s Daughter” to the Swedish adult horror flick “Vampire Ecstasy (aka The Devil’s Plaything)” to the 1970s cult campsterpiece “The Vampire Lovers,” the films toy with women’s roles as both predator and prey while exploring the fear that often accompanies feminine erotic desire. Expect lots of full moons, black cats, gorgeous vampire garb and necking gone wrong. We think it’s safe to say Kristen Stewart would approve. Head to the Quad’s website to see the full schedule.

But if ghouls and gore aren’t quite your cup of tea, lean into Halloween weekend’s macabre side in a more thoughtful way with the Reimagine End of Life Festival, taking place this week in NYC. All around the city, you’ll find exhibits, panels, workshops and lectures to explore different facets of death and dying, subjects that remain taboo even in this age of oversharing. Make a pet memorial for a late furry friend, or listen to comic legend Roz Chast talk about how she finds humor in grief. Take a walking tour on the “history of mortality in early New York” to find out how, and where, a person was buried, or check out an Anthology Film Archives series addressing how death shapes lives. Visit the schedule here. ― Priscilla Frank

“Elite” is Netflix’s latest foray into steamy teen dramas, and let me just say that I am very very here for it. The new begging-to-be-binged eight-episode series is a Spanish-language import from Spain, which centers around a ― you guessed it ― elite private high school and three outsiders who are granted scholarships there after their school building collapses. The pilot alone gives viewers some sex and drugs, as well as discussion of closeted sexual identities, HIV, class tensions and Islamophobia. Oh, and there’s an unsolved murder. Casual, right? It might sound like the show is trying to do too much, but I say it’s just enough! The writing is solid, the cast is beautiful and talented, and we could all use a little safe escapism in this hellscape of a nation. ― Emma Gray

OK, going pretty random this time around. But if you’re looking to waste 40 minutes on the couch this weekend, I highly recommend episode 6 of the CNN documentary miniseries “The Nineties,” which is all about the computer wars and beginning of internet culture in the 1990s (duh). I stumbled upon it while wasting my life on Netflix a few days back and I have to say, man, wow! That is a solid 40 minutes of television. Really hilarious archival footage of Tom Brokaw-types saying things like “They call it the internet.” Awesome little bits here and there about things like AIM chat rooms. But the best part, which I was not expecting, is all this footage they throw at you of Bill Gates acting a complete asshat and/or bully? You have to see it for the Gates stuff. Really good. Anyway, that’s my pitch. ― Maxwell Strachan

Like many people who grew up in the Midwest, I noticed at some point in my 20s that my Facebook had become a de facto marketplace. Middle- and high-school classmates who had once posted engagement photo shoots or baby updates now were flooding my newsfeed with testimonials and buyer codes for Herbalife shakes, Jamberry nail wraps, and It Works! (I never did find out what product It Works! sells ― the advertising was more focused on the fact that this product works.) Multilevel marketing schemes occasionally turn up in the news when individual organizations are accused of being pyramid schemes or even cults, but for something so omnipresent on my social media, I felt I knew relatively little about them.

Until now! Reported and hosted by Jane Marie, “The Dream” dives into every facet of the MLM ecosystem: the historical roots, the economic and sociological reasons behind their persistent success, the founders, the sellers, the political and the personal. The podcast is empathetically and rigorously reported, and even the parts that at first felt a bit self-indulgent to me ― Marie spends a lot of time talking to friends and family from her own Midwestern hometown about their shared memories of Amway and Tupperware parties ― were surprisingly revealing. ― Claire Fallon

Queen Maxima of the Netherlands displayed some Big Dick Energy this week when she wore a tiara featuring the Stuart Diamond ― which measures in at a whopping 40 carats ― during a state visit to the United Kingdom. Royal watchers and jewel fans flipped at the sight of the diamond, which hasn’t been worn in a public setting in more than 40 years. Maxima, who was born a commoner, also made news when she wore a scaled-down version of the Stuart Tiara in May. ― Paige Lavender

This scene from “30 Rock,” now a ubiquitous meme, never ceases to be relevant in 2018. — Marina Fang

Read last week’s Good Stuff here.