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The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups.
I think we will regret this tiny sunglasses look
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) May 14, 2018
“I digress” – me all day, every day.
— Quinta (@quintabrunson) May 17, 2018
Accidently smiled at someone again because I was thinking about food.
— elizabeth williams (@Elizasoul80) May 14, 2018
Yesterday: 9 million ants in my kitchen
Today: Zero ants in my kitchen
WHAT ARE THEY PLANNING— Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) May 14, 2018
If I let you in traffic and you don’t do a wave of thanks I will follow you home and insist you cook me an elegant roast meal.
— Deirdre (@figgled) May 14, 2018
I never call myself my dog’s mom because she’s a dog. But then I really wanted crack pie from Milk Bar so I whispered “this is my Mother’s Day treat” as I ordered it.
— Ashley Nicole Black Panther (@ashleyn1cole) May 14, 2018
It started out with a Yanny
How did it end up like Laurel
It was only a Yanny
It was only a Yanny— Chloe Bryan (@chloebryan) May 15, 2018
Coffee mugs do a lot of heavy lifting when it comes to personality in the workplace
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 16, 2018
I love Sandra Bullock movies that start with everyone hating her because she’s a woman and good at her job
— Bec Shaw (@Brocklesnitch) May 14, 2018
I just got hit on by a teenager. This is what happens when I don’t put my face on.
— Morgan Jerkins (@MorganJerkins) May 14, 2018
Welcome home, new bottle of lotion! Meet your new family: 89 almost-empty bottles of lotion turned upside down in the cabinet.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) May 15, 2018
I want to sleep for 15 hours on a gigantic couch surrounded by 2 golden retrievers, 1 black lab, 1 yellow lab, 1 chocolate lab, 5 corgis, and a baby pug.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) May 17, 2018
Um I just saw a man carrying a pothos plant in a babybjorn and it felt like an Onion article come to life.
— Gina Mei (@ginamei) May 14, 2018
My favorite sci fi show is The West Wing
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) May 14, 2018
there’s an entire generation of millennial girls who moved to new york solely because of “the devil wears prada”
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) May 17, 2018
I spend so long in mornings staring at outfits trying to see if I can get away with not ironing them
— bolu balenciaga-babalola (@BeeBabs) May 16, 2018
i just heard a man say “I have to see the first mamma mia movie before the sequel comes out” and I’ve never been more turned on in my life
— keely flaherty (@keelyflaherty) May 14, 2018
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