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The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
It should be okay to boo people at the airport
— audible gasp (@morninggloria) April 23, 2018
Instead of ignoring someone you should call it having them on airplane mode
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) April 25, 2018
Middle aged man: If I don’t get paid to say whatever I want wherever I want it, I am oppressed.
Woman: *Apologizes to a chair for bumping into it.”— Jennifer Wright (@JenAshleyWright) April 24, 2018
Somewhere between “Wtf is goin’ on” and “you already know wtf is goin’ on”
— Quinta (@quintabrunson) April 24, 2018
My neighbors are so friendly that I’m sitting in my car waiting for them to go inside so I don’t have to talk to them.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) April 24, 2018
it’s fun how if you keep flowers around one day too long, it’s like “welp i guess i’m a witch now”
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) April 27, 2018
The sunken place has WiFi. We get it.
— Gabby Sidibe (@GabbySidibe) April 25, 2018
sent an email to the entire office staff that was supposed to say “got it” but instead it reads “go tit” so it’s one of those days i guess
— Sammy Nickalls ?♀️ (@sammynickalls) April 23, 2018
How to get your curly hair ready for a trip:
-Wash the day before.
-Air dry.
-Don’t touch it.
-Don’t go for a walk.
-Stop touching it.
-Don’t even look at it.
-You’re totally fucking this up.— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) April 26, 2018
I had to answer the door earlier I’m done for the day
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) April 23, 2018
me: *does 1 thing*
also me: *does 7 things while scheduling 1 other thing and thinking about 4 other different things*
also me: *forgets to stand up for hours*— Sami Main (@samimain) April 25, 2018
*slathers homemade tinted moisturiser on,fills in eyebrows, slides on lipgloss* love to be a fresh faced spring babe
— bolu babalola (@BeeBabs) April 26, 2018
Crossing something off your to-do list because you can’t read your own handwriting and therefore can’t figure out what it is you had to do is a power move
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) April 23, 2018
*phone rings*
Me: hey dad, I’m helping my friend shop for her wedding so I can’t talk
Dad: what? Whose wedding?
Me: hers. Her wedding. Not mine
Dad: well good to hear you’re thinking of weddings!
Me: not my wedding dad
Dad: this is music to my ears, i’ll leave you to it— Mimi Onuoha (@thistimeitsmimi) April 21, 2018
It’s fun how when you become an adult you get real excited about buying yourself a new pack of hair elastics.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) April 24, 2018
just saw a girl with baby bangs and a Wing tote wearing denim overalls and felt like I got NYC Millennial Girl Bingo
— Jessica Roy (@JessicaKRoy) April 25, 2018
i’m not a democrat or a republican i’m a Charli XCX stan
— ????? ???????? ? (@artangeI) April 27, 2018
do u ever eat a whole dinner and ur like immediately ready for Second Dinner
— rae paoletta (@PAYOLETTER) April 24, 2018
Sitting here trying to figure out why none of the people who claim to love me have ever bought me any Beyoncé merch ?
— Obeehave, B Δ K Spr. 18 (@SylviaObell) April 24, 2018
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