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Recessions have historically sneaked in slowly, creeping into the economy so subtly it takes the better part of a year to even realize we’re in one. This time, the recession landed with all the subtlety of a wrecking ball, shattering the longest economic expansion in American history and punching the nation into its worst unemployment crisis since the Great Depression.

The corona-recession officially began in February, just before the US issued widespread stay-at-home orders, the National Bureau of Economic Research announced Monday.

Heckuva way to start the week, huh?

Here’s the good-ish news:

  • The worst of it may be behind us already: Jobs are coming back and people are cautiously beginning to travel again — more on that later.
  • Wall Street is firmly embedded in Camp Optimism: The S&P 500 ended up 1.2% Monday, erasing its losses for the year. The Nasdaq closed 1.1% higher, its first record close since February. And the Dow closed up 1.7%
  • The Fed’s on it: The Federal Reserve meets on Wednesday — we’ll get to see what other tricks Jerome Powell has up his sleeve to help keep the ship afloat.

WHO’S READY FOR ROOT CANAL?

Lockdown has made us nostalgic for normal lives, even the drudgery of commuting to work and engaging in elevator small talk and — I can’t make this up — going to the dentist.

Apparently that unbelievably annoying, anxiety-inducing ritual of responsible adult life is something people are doing again, now that dentist offices are allowed to reopen.

Dental offices added 244,800 jobs last month, leading the health care sector’s employment recovery. A lot of jobs came back last month, in fact: See who else is hiring again.

URGENT: OREO NEWS

Missing your triple-truffle-stuf Oreos ? Your pumpkin-spiced-peanut butter crunch cereal? Your matcha-infused Reddi-wip over yuzu-chocolate-chip ice cream? (Note: All of that is made up, but hey, free ideas for any food producers reading this! )

Here’s why you might not be seeing as many of those wacky varieties of your favorite snacks at the grocery store lately. When we all started eating at home more this spring, demand for groceries skyrocketed, forcing food makers to step up production. And making lots of different varieties takes extra time because plants typically have to pause their production lines to switch out the product and packaging when they go from making, say, Red Velvet to Birthday Cake Oreos.

(But that’s OK because regular Oreos are objectively the best Oreos, fight me.)

CROSSFIT JUST GOT MORE ANNOYING SOMEHOW

ICYMI, there’s a crisis in the CrossFit world that’s led to a huge backlash against the brand and its CEO.

Reebok has cut ties, and several gyms in the United States are dropping “CrossFit” from their names.

It all started on Twitter (of course) when CrossFit’s CEO, Greg Glassman, posted comments that make light of both coronavirus and the killing of George Floyd by Minneapolis police. The outrage was swift …and predictable. Glassman apologized on Monday, but for many it was too little too late.

Which leads me to my new feature, Unsolicited Tips for CEOs.

  • Unsolicited Tips for CEOs Part 1: Don’t tweet. (If you must tweet, hire an editor!)

AIRBNB’S COMEBACK

The walls are closing in for those of us who’ve been under quarantine in our 600-square-foot studio apartments since March, so it’s no surprise many of us are looking for some fresh walls to escape to. Maybe with a mountain view. And a pool. And wifi.

Airbnb said bookings are surging for the summer as Americans warm up to the idea of traveling again. Shares of major US airlines and cruise companies are also bouncing back, even though flight traffic is nowhere near pre-pandemic levels and cruise operators aren’t yet sure when they can sail again. Investors are, to say the least, optimistic.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

That’s what Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky told Bloomberg News. The reality of remote work is starting to sink in, and that may be very good news for Airbnb and terrible news for commercial real estate developers and landlords.

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