Colbert Has A Hunch Trump Doesn’t Know What He’s Talking About

People, you might want to sit down for this. Apparently, our commander-in-chief, aka our POTUS, aka the man who claims to have “total” authority over the United States, might not know what he’s talking about.

But how could this be true? President Donald Trump himself has declared he’s a “very stable genius.” On “The Late Show” Thursday, Stephen Colbert broke it down.

Trump this week tried to praise some areas of the country with lower numbers of coronavirus cases by saying things there were “heading south quickly.” Also, when talking about the potential for a second wave of infections, the president said if there are any “burning embers” they’d be put out: “Boom!”

“Of course, because the sound you associate with safely putting out a fire is ‘boom,’” Colbert said. “Trump doesn’t talk like a guy who knows what he’s talking about. Can you imagine him as your doctor?”

The “Late Show” host went into his Trump impression, saying, “We’re gonna go in there and we’re gonna take the little knife and we’re gonna go ‘cut, cut, snap, snap.’ And there’s gonna be, I call it blood. Blood right there, OK? But we’re gonna say ‘No blood.’ Then stitch, stitch, stitch, then we go into the place where the blood was, and boom.”

But Trump M.D. had some more advice. Colbert’s version of the president talked about why some states didn’t need as much testing by saying some governors like doing things an “old fashioned way.”

“Is old fashioned what you’re looking for in medical care?” wondered Colbert, who added mockingly, “I don’t need these newfangled tests and swabs. Just cover me in leeches and balance my humors! How about a tincture of mercury?”

The president also said the virus would eventually just be “gone,” even without a vaccine, which caused Colbert to break out his Trump impression once again.

“It’s gonna slip out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. It’s gonna get on the bus, Gus,” Colbert said in his mock Trump voice. “You want more? I got 50 of these.”

For the president’s full plan, here’s Paul Simon: