Kelz Dyke On ‘Too Hot To Handle’ And Dating At A Social Distance

Kelz Dyke was just going about his life in London when he got an unexpected message. It was from a casting team who had scouted him, thinking the senior recruitment consultant and London Warriors football player would be a great fit for “a massive network’s” new reality show they were producing.

“I heard ‘massive network’ and I was like, ‘Yeah. I’m keen. Let me hear more about this,’” Kelz told HuffPost’s “Here To Make Friends” hosts Claire Fallon, Emma Gray and Leigh Blickley over video chat this week. “And then we had the interviews, the FaceTime, I came into the studio. They still didn’t tell me anything about the concept. I was just getting grilled, getting asked loads of personality-style questions: ‘Tell me about you. Tell me about this situation or this situation.’ And then before you know it, I’m on a flight to Mexico.”

Turns out the network was Netflix and the show was “Too Hot To Handle,” a dating series that follows a group of young, attractive and horny singles as they navigate temptation during a romantic retreat. The catch? The contestants can’t engage in any sexual activity, kissing included, for four weeks or they’ll be shamed by an Alexa-type virtual assistant named Lana and charged for their indiscretions. Each time she catches a foul, money is taken out of the group’s prize money pot of $100,000.

Kelz, for the most part, found the cash more alluring than the women and was quickly dubbed “The Accountant,” holding his castmates, well, accountable for their risqué actions. 

“Naturally, I’m just an alpha, so I’m just someone who takes charge and takes the lead,” he said. “You see whoever jumping into the pool and sunbathing right in front of you. Your eyes go nuts. Before you know it, you realize, ‘OK, I’m just looking. Oh, I want to touch. No, touching leads to something else. Don’t do that, don’t do that.’ So I just tried to ignore it, really. It got easier after a while. Having half-naked girls walk in front of me just didn’t seem like a thing anymore.”

In this interview, Kelz shares more about his experience at the retreat and how it’s changed the way he perceives self-love and relationships.

It’s been funny because obviously the premise that you can’t really have physical contact with people has felt sort of relevant given that we are all in quarantine. When did you guys realize that your show would be airing while the whole world was essentially in lockdown?

Do you know what? When it got announced, quarantine wasn’t happening. I think it was maybe a few weeks or a month before quarantine started. I think at that point I remember hearing in the papers about the coronavirus and stuff like that. I heard it affected certain parts of the world but we were fine. So, we were just all looking for everything to drop. And then before you know it, it happened during the season and things got worse and it was like, “Whoa.”

When did you guys film? How far in advance?

This was filmed last year. April. Literally a year ago.

So you really didn’t know when it was going to be released.

No. There was loads of talk and they were like, “Don’t worry, we’ll get back to you.” But we knew it’s going to be sometime this year. So, it was just sort of about sitting tight. I went back to life. I still had my job, still had my quarterly targets, still had my clients that I needed to speak to and I just put it into a little box and just focused on day-to-day and traveled and stuff like that.

Do you feel like filming this no-touching show gave you some practice for the rigors of social distancing?

Oh yeah, 100%. There’s certainly elements from it that you can take away and use in the situation we’re in at the moment. Obviously social distancing, can’t touch other people, maybe you’re far away from the person that you’re intimate with, correct? But one of the main things it teaches you, in general, is just to focus and invest in yourself.

When you’re on a retreat and they take away the phone, take away TV, take away social media and everything, you’re left to just speak and talk and communicate, and I think that’s the situation we’re in now. I was asked the other day, what advice would you give to people in relationships, for example, that are currently social distancing? I would say spend the time to communicate, FaceTime each other, start a book club ― maybe every Thursday you guys FaceTime and talk about a book you’re reading. Go on YouTube, start learning cooking lessons and see who makes the meal the best. Work on the gaps that were maybe covered up by physical intimacy or just something you may have overlooked. Some people struggle to communicate with each other or some people can use this time to get to know more about their partner or even just spend time on their own. I think if you’re happy being on your own — reading books and doing art or something — you become a better person overall. And I think when you’re a good person on your own, you can be a good person in a relationship. You should be able to be happy on your own, rather than dependent on a relationship to be happy. My opinion.

Wow. You learned a lot in Mexico!

Yeah, retreat. I recommend it.

Do you feel like that experience of being on the show did help you have a different approach to love?

Yeah, absolutely. Before the show, I used to think, “I can’t really have a female friend unless I’m not sexually attracted to her.” On the retreat, I ended up spending time speaking to so many of the girls and understanding what they’re like, what they enjoy doing … My questions weren’t sexual desire questions. My questions were genuinely, “What do you do? Do you enjoy doing that?” It’s just things that actually take an interest in a person’s mind and who they are as a person, rather than what they can physically offer you or the sex that you’re chasing, if that makes sense.

After the retreat, I’ll be honest, when I got my phone back I didn’t really look at it for a good few weeks. I felt nice just having conversations and not being distracted by social media because I think social media gives you this illusion that you have so many options, because you’re just flicking through. But it’s nice to just focus on what you have in front of you and also just make most of the people in your life that are not necessarily maybe somebody you’re sleeping with, but just good people with great minds.

We’ve got to talk about your nickname, The Accountant. How did it feel watching your castmates just fritter away all of this money so they could make out with each other?

Anytime I heard Lana go, “Oh, there’s been an infringement,” I was like, “Fuck’s sake.”

When I got there and Lana announced $100k, that’s the first time I realized that I flew across the world to Mexico and I didn’t even ask whether I’m going to get paid for this. “Oh, there’s $100k at stake?” You’d think, naturally, everyone will be on board and they will be excited. But most people are going like, “Oh,” and I understand that, but then I think, would you spend $3k on a kiss? I think people forget that. It’s that contactless payment. Unless you physically have the cash in your hand, you just don’t care that you just keep spending and spending. That’s the way it was after a while. It started to become where everyone was doing infringements. I had, obviously, the scene with Francesca and everything and it got tough ’cause I got tempted as The Accountant. But I think it was always good to lead by example.

Was there anyone else aside from Francesca who stuck out to you in the beginning, but then ended up being “unavailable”?

Francesca, for me, was the initial choice, but then I had the [S&M] workshop with Haley. And prior to that, Haley didn’t really get on with everyone, as you can see on the series. But after we had that workshop and I tied her up and she obviously gave me trust and everything, it was really nice getting to know her a bit more and talk to her. Haley is amazing. Haley is a great person to talk to. It was just some people you clash with and some people you don’t. To be honest, if you look at it, she was a great friend to Fran. Do you know what I mean? Backed her all the way and you’ve got to salute that. I think Haley was probably the one, after getting to know her, “OK. I’m quite interested in that.”

In the first episode, I think it was Sharron who asked me what’s my type. I said like a mix between Haley and Francesca. So it was definitely Haley who would have probably been my next, but then she left.

So, underboob was a really prevalent trend on the show, just to wildly switch topics. And this really caught our attention as women who didn’t know that underboob was the new thing that we should be doing.

What’s your stance on that? Is it hot? We can’t tell.

Until I got to the island, I wasn’t aware of the new designs of bikini. It’s nice. It just plays with your imagination, doesn’t it? Whereas before you could just see the top half, now we’ve got something in the middle, you see the bottom and the top. Before we had bikinis where the back was normal and now they’re just lines at the back. It’s just that, isn’t it? We’re in evolving times.

Yeah. You just have to respect the creativity of the design community. Ever new ways to display breasts. So, hats off.

If you’ve got the confidence to love yourself, your body in that way, I’ll take that. What makes someone attractive is not just how you look, but also how you present yourself and that radiates out, doesn’t it?

OK, so underboob with confidence is hot. I can get on board with that. And I mean, look, I respect the hustle. Are you still in touch with any of your fellow castmates? Who were your closest friends from the show?

Yeah, we all stay in touch. We’ve got a group chat, which is always great. On the show, me and Matt got on quite well. The Sheriff, aka Jesus, and The Accountant. I feel like we were the only ones that realized what’s at stake. 

And we’re all curious as fans, will there be a reunion? We were expecting a little catch-up, getting to know what you guys were up to now, but in the circumstances, I’m sure it’s hard to find the time to film. Have you heard any plans of doing a reunion over video chat or anything?

I think if there’s definite demand for it and people are asking for it, I’m sure Netflix would put something together. We’ve not been told nothing yet, but we’ll see what time will tell. So I need more people tweeting about it.

You have to tell us, who’s still together?

Well, Fran and Harry are still together. You can tell in the socials. And I’ve not really focused, actually, besides Instagram. I don’t want to make speculations, I don’t know, but I just know because everyone’s retweeting Harry and Frankie, so I just definitely know they’re still talking. (Editor’s note: turns out Rhonda and Sharron are no longer an item.)

In the group chat, everyone’s still talking with each other. So I’ve not really had the chance. It’s been actually crazy and overwhelming since the show aired, so before we talked a lot, now we barely even have the chance to as much because I took a new job and I still got, well, social media is like a job as well now.

There were a few people who made these romantic connections on the show and you left single, but have you met anyone since your time on the show?

I’ve spoken to people, [but] I’ve not really been in a relationship with anyone since then. Pretty much after the show, I’ve been focusing on me. Obviously, I knew this was going to come out and [people] could see it, so I was all about making sure I’m mentally ready for that exposure and reading the right books, because we hear a lot about social media and effects of being in the limelight. So it’s important that you work on your mind first before focusing on everything else.

And how has that been for you? How has it been to get all that attention all at once?

I’m not going to lie, when that show first came out, I put my phone on airplane mode and I just binge-watched the series. Then I turned my phone back on again and it’s like, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping. It was a lot. It was overwhelming. It’s like everything I’d suddenly did was now being watched. If I post hello or tweet this or that, everyone suddenly knows about you. It was a lot at the time and it took a few days to get used to all that. But I was blessed as well and amazed to see how well we did. I was really happy for that because we didn’t know how it was going to be when we’re filming it. So it’s just an adjustment period. I can’t complain. What’s the saying? Don’t wish for no problems, wish for problems you’d enjoy solving.

You made a little bit of money. What did you do with your seven grand?

I gave half to my mom …

And the rest I just invested in some shares. I know it sounds boring, but that’s the ―

No, that’s the best. You’re the accountant; it’s not boring!

I’d like to ask you guys, what was your favorite part of the show?

[Long brainstorm session] The gender workshops, because it’s so uncommon for a show to defuse tension among competitors that way.

 I get that. Is that the one everyone agrees on, yeah?

Yeah. I also liked when Haley and Francesca exacted revenge on the whole group. Harry was lying and everyone took his side, and I liked that they got their own back a little bit.

It’s funny you say that because, until I watched it, no one realized Harry was lying. Just remember we were all watching this for the first time. Right? So when I watched it, I was like, “Wow.” We thought all along Harry was being honest. For example, I’m very old school. I don’t lie in terms of I don’t feel that I should lie to a girl. If I did something, I’ll just say I did it. So I just judge everyone based on that. So I was quite shocked. I was like, “Oh, you lied about it.” And we were all giving Fran so much [flak] about it, so it was like, wow.

What was your favorite part, watching it back?

I’d say the hot tub scene. Let me tell you why. You’d naturally think it’s because obviously I’m half-naked with Fran in the hot tub, but it was actually the bit before it. I don’t really get nervous when I go to dates. Very composed. But the fact that it was going to get televised and be on TV, that’s a completely different ball game. And for the first time, my heart was beating really, really fast. Really fast. That adrenaline was kicking in. You’re laughing, you have butterflies in your stomach. I felt nice. It feels nice to feel alive again? It felt like going on a date for the first time, which for all of us is something you want to relive a little bit. Do you know what I mean? I think that’s what made the whole jacuzzi experience really nice.

That is such a sweet answer. You have charmed us over Zoom, so well done. We hope that your social media life just propels you to new levels of butterflies. You never know what it could bring you, or if you’ll meet a new lady.

You guys are amazing. I appreciate that. Thank you for having me.

Watch our full interview with Kelz in the video player above. “Too Hot To Handle” is now streaming on Netflix.