She detailed the exhausting procedures necessary to maintain the appearance of a full head of hair — the loss of which she ascribes to yo-yo dieting, stress, hormonal birth control and hair dye, among other things. “There have been a few times where I have even felt suicidal over it … I am not alone in this and my goal is to help others while at the same time unshackle myself from this quiet hell I have been living in,” she wrote in the post.
Despite a career typified by messages of body positivity and non-judgment, and a sensitive and fearless approach when it comes to tackling complex subjects, Lake clearly felt a great deal of fear around what people might think of her condition.
The fact that stress about how she might be perceived may have made her hair loss worse illustrates the damage done by stigma. The caveat with which she begins her message — “I am not sick. (THANK GOD.) I am not having a mid-life crisis. nor am I having a mental breakdown, though I have been suffering” — anticipates the negative conclusions many might leap to upon seeing a middle-aged woman with a buzz cut.
There is always a reaction when a famous woman shaves their head. Whether it’s positive, negative or suspicious usually depends on other factors which have nothing to do with their hair. When a woman is young, thin and conventionally beautiful — see Cara Delevingne, Natalie Portman, Kristen Stewart or Zoe Kravitz — drastic haircuts are “edgy” and intriguing and serve to “accentuate” their delicate beauty. When a woman is young, thin, conventionally beautiful and coming of age — see Emma Watson post-Harry Potter, chopping hair short is emancipating.
It is unheard of for a drastic change in a female celebrity’s appearance to go unremarked. But if a woman doesn’t seem 100% “together” — think Britney Spears in 2007 — or isn’t generally considered to be a fashion icon, then head shaving ceases to make automatic “sense” to the world at large. It’s important to note that this is not true of men, for whom the reactions to hair-shaving tend to be either: He’s balding, he looks amazing or often not much at all. At the very least, it’s unlikely he’d be under much pressure to explain himself.
In Lake’s case, the desire to meet society’s demands upon women may have caused her stress and pain. As she describes in her post: “After my last extreme diet where I lost 20 lbs. in 6 weeks, my hair started shedding again, big time.” Lake, who was 260 pounds before losing weight, told ABC News that it wasn’t until she had slimmed down to a size 4 that she felt wanted on the covers of magazines.
Obesity is very common in America and hair loss is experienced by millions in the country but neither, it seems, is accepted by society in general, especially for women.
When plus-size mannequins which reflected the bodies of most people far more truthfully than “normal” ones were introduced in Nike stores last year, many responded with disgust. And though hair loss is not in and of itself dangerous, wildly successful and talented celebrities besides Ricki Lake have described their fear upon discovering their hair loss, worries surely aggravated by the potential judgment of others.
Viola Davis described feeling “desperate for people to think that [she] was beautiful,” Jada Pinkett-Smith said it was “terrifying” at first, and Selma Blair, whose hair started falling out after giving birth, has lamented that more people don’t talk about it. That silence is damaging.
Lake has set a brave example by talking about her hair loss and candidly revealing her fears. While it is a shame that she felt she needed to explain her decision to cut her hair — and incredibly likely that, had she not, it would have prompted speculation — one advantage of doing so on social media is that she is able to control the narrative.
Having spent years presenting a version of herself which, as she put it, caused “deep pain and trauma,” she was finally able to be “liberated.” Lake’s fears illustrate how damaging stigmas of appearances can be, perhaps more than appearances themselves. Here’s hoping her decision can spur others to choose the same form of freedom.
